When everyone seems to share everything on social media, how do you approach something as delicate as a death? It’s not uncommon to learn about the funerals of people you know through a social platform, but do you respond? And if it’s someone you were friends with up to their death, do you post about it? This sensitive subject is rife with potential breaches of etiquette, especially given how high emotions are running.

4 Frequently Asked Questions Ahead of a Funeral

When is it okay for you to post about it?

Plenty of people will leap straight onto their social profile to comment or post their condolences, but hold off from doing this out of respect for the family. You may, understandably, want to join in the conversation.

If so, take it offline and discuss it privately. Of course, you’re allowed to grieve and express shock, but consider how the family may feel about seeing their loved one all over a website. Instead, hold off until you see a statement from the family.

What should you say?

FuneralsSocial media is not an appropriate platform to pour your heart out. In some cases, the cause of death may not be known or widely shared. If this is the case, you should never ask what happened, nor post about it if you already know.

It isn’t your place to say, and family members have more than enough to think about without people prying. A simple note to the family expressing your condolences and a memory you’d like to share will be enough.

Should you reach out to the family?

While social media may allow you to reach out to a family member, it also enables you to intrude on someone’s grief when you may not know them well enough (or at all) to do so. In this instance, ask yourself whether you would have contacted them before the days of social media.

Is there anything you shouldn’t do after the funeral?

The one rule after the funeral is never to post pictures of the service or the wake. Funerals aren’t like weddings: although they may be a grand celebration of someone’s life, you shouldn’t treat them like social gatherings with a stream of pictures documenting the day.


Shirley Brothers Mortuaries & Crematory have supported grieving families in Indianapolis, IN, for over 100 years. They see their role as not just to provide beautiful funerals but also to work with the family to guide them through a difficult time. They aim to create healing experiences in a place of calm, where people can deal with their grief and find a sense of closure. Speak with someone from their compassionate team today by calling them at (317) 897-9606 or visiting their website.