Domestic abuse affects your physical and emotional well-being. Although leaving an abusive marriage is difficult, it's also necessary to regain control of your life and protect your children. Once you've made the decision, here are some steps to keep you safe while taking action.  

3 Steps to Leave An Abusive Spouse

1. Create An Exit Plan With a Professional

A volatile spouse might use coercion or violence to get their partner to stay. To avoid a dangerous situation, ask a domestic abuse counselor to help you devise a safety plan for your exit, including arranging for a place to stay, keeping the car fueled if you have to leave quickly, and establishing a support system of trusted friends and relatives.   

2. File for a Temporary Restraining Order

Keep your whereabouts hidden from your partner to stay out of harm's way. To deter them from looking for you, file a temporary restraining order at a family court. Your spouse will be charged with a criminal misdemeanor if they harass you over the phone, physically abuse you, visit your home or job, or try to take the kids while the order is in effect. 

When filing for divorce or legal separation later, a record of the court order can be used to prove your domestic violence allegations. A judge will take this information into account when determining alimony and child custody arrangements. 

3. Set Aside Money

A partner might put holds on credit cards or close mutual bank accounts after their spouse leaves. To ensure you have access to funds, start setting aside money from your paycheck or open a separate bank account without your spouse's knowledge. If you don't have an independent income, ask friends or relatives to contribute to your exit fund. Representatives at a shelter are available to discuss your financial aid options too.

To put an end to the domestic abuse you've experienced, contact the family attorneys at Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC, in Honolulu, HI. With over 35 years of experience, the lawyers will help you petition for a restraining order and handle your divorce case. Learn more about how the counselors will aid you online, and call (808) 524-4854 to arrange for a free consultation to discuss your situation.