When it comes to funeral service arrangements, it can be uncomfortable to broach the topic before the need arrives. However, once it does, pre-planning the event will have made the process easier. Here’s how to get the conservation started with your elderly parents.

How to Talk a Loved One About Funeral Planning

1. Choose the Right Setting

Before you get into an intimate or sensitive topic, it’s important that the people you’re speaking with feel comfortable. Find a time when stress is low, schedules are open, and everyone is feeling up to a chat.

Choose a private place—such as your living room or kitchen—where they can open up freely. This stable, quiet environment will lend itself to a deep and meaningful conversation.

2. Bring Up Your Own Interests

funeral serviceInstead of diving right into a list of tough questions, invite your parent’s input by stating your own funeral service preferences. For example, if you mention that you’ve always envisioned a cremation and ash scattering ceremony, your loved one might feel the urge to tell you that they would prefer a burial.

You could let them know that you were unaware of that preference, and ask if they have any other ideas for their funeral service. This could get the gears turning in their head, and before they know it, they’ll have mapped out their vision in your brief conversation.

3. Explain the Benefits

Once their preferences are on the table, mention that it would be smart to make them official. Tell your loved one that by planning their funeral service in advance, they can ensure that these wishes are carried out.

This way, there will be no confusion or tension among children and grandchildren, and their service can go on smoothly and beautifully. Since the preferences you discussed will be fresh in their mind, your parents won’t feel stressed out about working out the details, and they might be willing to make an appointment at a local funeral home. 


If you’re looking for a funeral home in the Rochester, NY, area, contact Leo M. Bean and Sons Funeral Home. For over four decades, this family-owned and -operated business has been taking the stress out of funeral pre-planning and accentuating the profound beauty of a well-planned service. With an affordable pricing structure and a wide range of ceremony types, you can trust this funeral home to carry out your loved one’s vision. To learn more about their offerings, visit their website, or call (585) 426-7830 to schedule a consultation.