A wake is a gathering held before a funeral service that allows family and friends of the deceased to pay their respects, share memories, and support one another in their grief. Whether you're about to attend one or considering holding it, you may have questions about what the event involves and the customs and etiquette it typically requires. Here's a closer look to help you know what to expect.

What You Need to Know About Wakes

Is the body present?

In most cases, the body is present at a wake. The casket could be opened or closed, depending on the family's wishes or the deceased's preferences. Even if there are plans for cremation, the body can still be present at the wake. It will simply be cremated after the service.

What happens at a wake?

Most wakes are less formal than traditional funeral services. They allow guests to pay their final respects to the deceased, console the family, and reminisce together. At most of these events, there is a guestbook near the door that each attendee signs. 

Light refreshments could be served during the gathering, and there could be a table with photos, awards, and other mementos of the deceased. Friends can attend either only the wake or funeral service or both events. However, family members—especially immediate ones—are typically expected at both.

How should I dress?

While a wake is not as formal as a funeral, it doesn't mean you should treat it informally. Unless instructed otherwise by the obituary or the deceased's immediate family, plan to wear business casual attire or the type of clothing you would normally wear to a memorial service. When in doubt, go with modest apparel in darker colors.

Should I bring a gift?

Gifts are not expected at this event, so bringing one is entirely up to you. Most people give sympathy cards, and some have flowers sent to the wake location. However, remember to honor the wishes of the deceased or their family. For instance, if they have requested donations to a specific charity instead of flowers, you should kindly respect this suggestion.

Cornelius, Dodd & Connell Inc. Funeral Home in Middletown, NY, will help you plan a memorable wake and funeral service for your loved one. Serving residents throughout Orange and Sullivan counties for over a century, they offer funeral, burial, and cremation services. Call (845) 343-2142 to schedule a consultation with their funeral director, and visit them online to explore their facilities.