A loved one passing away is an extremely difficult and emotional time. Oftentimes, it is tough to find the right words to say to console someone after a loss. If you are attending the funeral services of someone who has died, you will want to offer your condolences to the family of the deceased. Since it is such a difficult period, it is important to make sure your words are compassionate and sensitive. Below are a few tips to consider to help guide you through this process. 

How to Speak to the Family of the Deceased

1. Avoid Inappropriate Phrases

You may feel that saying phrases such as “He’s at peace.” or “It’s for the best.” are comforting,  but they might not be what loved ones want to hear. Also, avoid giving direct advice that tells the grieving family member what their next steps should be, such as “Keeping busy will help you.” Although your intentions are positive, it could come across inappropriately. 

2. Acknowledge the Deceased

Always refer to the person who has died by their name and offer simple and caring condolences like “I’m thinking of you.” or “He was a great man, and I’ll remember him always.” This approach shows the family that you are there for them, acknowledges the loss, and demonstrates respect for their lost loved one.

3. Do Not Relate Their Experience to Yours 

Your presence at the funeral service is to pay your respects to the lost loved one and their grieving family. Try to avoid speaking about yourself or anything you have gone through. Although you might feel that your advice can help, you should try to stay focused and make your remarks to them about their family and their current situation.

4. Offer Support

Let the family know that you are there for them if they need anything. It can be as simple as a shoulder to lean on or help with any tasks after the funeral. Don’t push your presence, but remind them that they can contact you whenever they are ready. 

5. Keep It Concise

Unless you are very close to the family, it is best to keep your words short and concise. Avoid lingering and making anyone, including yourself, feel uncomfortable. Share your condolences, offer a hug, and then find your seat so that others can share. 

For more than a century, Cornelius, Dodd & Connell Inc. Funeral Home has been Middletown, NY’s, choice when families need compassionate and respectful funeral services for a deceased loved one. The funeral home’s staff offers assistance from the beginning of the planning process through grief support after the arrangements are complete. They also provide burial and cremation services and funeral pre-planning for those who want to arrange their own memorial ahead of time. Call (845) 343-2142 to speak with a representative or visit them online for additional resources.