If an estranged family member has passed away, you might be uncertain whether it's appropriate to attend the funeral or simply send your condolences. Although estrangement stems from several personal reasons, you might still consider showing your support for family members. Here are some tips to navigate this challenging time. 

A Guide to Navigating Funerals for Estranged Family Members 

Should I Send Condolences? 

Even if you are not planning to attend the funeral, you might want to send condolences. Before doing so, consider how this action could affect the family. If you anticipate that some family members will react positively and appreciate the gesture, then send flowers to the funeral home. 

If you're unsure, but you still have contact with someone else close to the deceased who knows the immediate family, consider asking for their perspective. If they encourage you to send condolences, write a card with a meaningful message.

Should I Attend the Service? 

A funeral is primarily for the deceased’s close friends and family. It provides an opportunity for them to say goodbye and honor their loved one. It’s essential to keep their feelings in mind as you make your decision. 

If the deceased was a close friend or family member or someone close to one of your existing friends or family members, you might want to attend. When doing so, make sure to offer your condolences after the service to allow time to speak to the family members. 

If you have access to the deceased's obituary, pay close attention to the family's wishes toward the end. Some families specify that the service is personal and private. If this is the case, it may not be wise to attend, as the family usually personally invites others when the ceremony is private. 

How Should I Navigate the Funeral? 

While at the service, focus on paying your respects and supporting the bereaved. Prepare a short script of what to say if you're asked to speak or recount memories of the deceased. If anyone attempts to discuss your estrangement, politely decline the conversation and continue focusing on paying respects.

Losing a loved one can be challenging to navigate. The professionals at Johnson-Kennedy Funeral Home Inc. in Canandaigua, NY, can provide resources that will help you cope with grief and navigate your emotions. This funeral home has served the community for more than 100 years, providing compassionate support with everything from pre-planning to cremation and burial. Call (585) 394-4280 or visit their website to learn more about their services.