When partners can validate one another, they are actively acknowledging and accepting each other's feelings. This is a crucial component of intimacy and helps ensure that partners feel safe and heard. But it's important to remember that validation is more of an art than a science. There are many ways to do it, and it can take some practice. A couple's counselor can facilitate and guide you through the process, but here are some ways to get started on your own.

How to Validate Your Partner's Feelings

1. Listen

Listening is the first step to successful validation. When your partner talks to you, especially when they're sharing their thoughts and feelings, give them full, undivided attention. Make eye contact and encourage them to keep talking and sharing. 

Try not to interrupt except to offer supportive words. And don't worry about forming a response or rebuttal; just be present as much as you can. This way, you're giving your partner space to be heard and, ultimately, validated.

2. Be Curious

Validation is not a one-time event. It is an ongoing process that requires consistent engagement. One way to maintain consistency is to be compassionately curious about your partner's feelings. Don't limit your curiosity to couple's counseling sessions; your interest should extend into everyday life. 

Get in the habit of checking in with your partner and asking how they're doing and what they're feeling. Don't hesitate to ask questions or request clarification if needed. Think about how you would feel in their position and the types of questions you would find helpful.

3. Validate Even When You Disagree

Disagreeing with a partner doesn't mean you can't validate what they're feeling. Even though your position or feelings on a specific issue might be different, you can still empathize with where they're coming from and express understanding. Not only does this ensure healthy communication between the two of you, but it also helps resolve disputes and strengthen your overall bond.

Let the couple's counseling professionals at Feinberg & Associates help you develop your validation skills. With more than 25 years of experience, they serve the Lexington, KY, region. Their psychologists provide individual, couple, and family counseling. Call (859) 233-3390 to schedule an appointment or visit them online to explore their mental health services.