Anger is a strong and destructive emotion that can cloud an individual’s judgment and cause them to act out. If your spouse deals with excessive anger, these episodes can be draining, hurtful, and take a toll on your marriage. Counseling services, like anger management, can teach them to control their feelings and express themselves in healthier ways. As their partner, here’s what you can do to handle their anger while nurturing your relationship.

How to Handle an Angry Partner

1. Try to Deescalate

Do not engage in a shouting match or try to fight back. Instead, take a deep breath and stay calm. Speak softly and try to diffuse the situation by acknowledging your partner's feelings and expressing your own concerns. This approach can help prevent things from escalating and allow you to address the issue rationally.

2. Listen and Communicate

Anger often stems from a feeling of being unheard or invalidated. Try to understand their perspective and acknowledge their feelings. However, it is also important to communicate your own thoughts and emotions clearly. Be assertive but not confrontational and focus on finding a solution together.

3. Understand Their Triggers

What situations or behaviors tend to set them off? Once you identify these triggers, you can take steps to avoid them or find ways to manage them more effectively. For example, if your spouse gets angry when they feel overwhelmed, you can help them by sharing the workload or finding ways to reduce their stress.

4. Establish Your Boundaries

You should not tolerate abusive or disrespectful behavior, even if it comes from someone you love. Let your spouse know that their behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate it. Be firm but fair and make it clear that you are willing to work through the issue together.

If your spouse is having trouble controlling their anger, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. Psychologist David Feinberg, Ph.D. of Feinberg & Associates provides personalized counseling services to clients across Lexington, KY. They handle a variety of individual and family counseling services, including anger management, marriage counseling, and mental health services. Learn more about their services online. To schedule an appointment, call (859) 233-3390.