Losing a parent is one of the most difficult experiences anyone will likely experience. When a loved one suffers this kind of loss, many partners try to remedy their personal feelings of helplessness by aiding their spouse. Whether that looks like insisting on making funeral arrangements before they are ready or encouraging your loved one to return to activities they previously enjoyed, these attempts don't always lead to the intended result.  Use this guide for helpful tools to support your loved one while they heal. 

How to Comfort a Spouse Who Loses a Parent

1. Follow Your Spouse's Lead 

Grief is a very non-linear process. One day your spouse may seem like they are getting back to "normal" and the next they may be unable to get out of bed.  The most supportive thing you can do for your partner is meet them exactly where they are at, wherever that is. If they want to take time alone, honor it. 

If they want to talk, be a listener. If they aren't ready to start making funeral arrangements, avoid pressuring them to do otherwise. Let your spouse initiate whatever steps forward that feels right for them. 

2. Validate Their Feelings 

Losing a parent can bring with it a myriad of, often confusing, emotions. Depending on the relationship your spouse had with their parent, they may feel everything from anger and resentment to deep sorrow and despair. Regardless of what emotions are coming up for them, it's vital you express to your loved one that their feelings are valid and real. 

Allowing a spouse to feel exactly the way they do in the moment is an important part of their ability to process through these difficult emotions. Even just acknowledging how hard it all must be can be very affirming. 

3. Don't Try to Fix it 

When someone you love is in pain, it's extremely tempting to try to come up with solutions in hopes it will help them feel better. When it comes to grief, there is no fixing. 

It is meant to be felt as long as it needs to be felt without judgment or pressure. Rather than reciting good-intentioned but empty platitudes, try just listening. When you hold space for a loved one's grief, you allow them to feel heard and seen, which can be extremely powerful in their healing journey.

Losing a loved one can be an extremely delicate time for the surviving friends and family. At Brown Funeral Homes & Cremations in Martinsburg, WV, the compassionate staff will do everything in their power to make this process as unburdensome as possible. From helping you make funeral arrangements to cremation and burial services, this funeral home offers a number of services to ensure your loved one is laid to rest peacefully. Using the utmost care, their professional funeral directors also offer grief support, guidance, and counseling for the surviving family. To speak to a staff member, call (304) 263-8896 or visit the website.