Marriage is an exciting life transition, but it can also come with challenges as you begin sharing your life with another person. A happy union requires strong communication. Fortunately, communication skills can be developed and enhanced with a little practice. Here are some ways to effectively express your thoughts with your new spouse. 

A Newlyweds’ Guide to Strong Communication

1. Be a Good Listener

Miscommunication often happens when one person doesn’t understand what the other means. Usually, this can be avoided by listening attentively. If there’s something that you don’t fully understand or agree with, pause for a moment before reacting. Then, ask your spouse if they can elaborate so you can see where they’re coming from. 

2. Use Positive Statements

Positivity can help make a spouse feel appreciated, respected, and loved during the early days of marriage — or any major life transition, for that matter. In fact, positive statements are something you should practice regularly. Ensure the ones you share are genuine as well. For example, if you love their cooking skills or appreciate that they do repairs around the house, speak from the heart and let them know. 

3. Take Ownership

Spouses often fall into the trap of blaming one another when it seems like events are not going right. You can reframe issues by letting your spouse know how you feel about their actions. 

This method can help to maintain a conversation instead of a confrontation. Be sure to take ownership of your actions during the talk, too. Also, apologize sincerely if your partner has been hurt by a mistake or oversight on your part. 

4. Use Time-Outs

Marriage is a major life transition, and it’s normal to disagree when two people with different expectations and experiences come together. That said, it’s possible to diffuse arguments before they become too heated. Simply use a phrase such as “red light” to take a brief pause. Make a pact to resume the conversation an hour or so later when you’ve both had the chance to cool off.

5. Limit Distractions 

From work emails to social media, our attention gets pulled in many different directions. Yet, strong communication relies on your ability to give each other your undivided attention. Be sure to set aside some time each day to check in with each other without checking phones, having the TV on, or any other distractions.

If you’re looking for ways to navigate a major life transition, such as marriage, with success, turn to Turning Point Life Coaching. Located in Rochester, NY, counseling professional Audrey Berger has more than 40 years of experience helping clients learn the communication and conflict resolution skills that will strengthen their relationships. Find out more about her coaching sessions online, and call (585) 292-0095 to schedule an appointment.