Whether it’s an old neighbor or the parent of a close friend, learning about the passing of someone you know is always heartbreaking. In some circumstances, it can be difficult to determine whether it’s appropriate to attend the funeral of an acquaintance, particularly since many memorial services don’t rely on formal invitations. Below are some factors to consider if you’re unsure how to best show your support for the deceased and their family. 

How to Know Whether to Attend a Funeral

When You Should Go to the Funeral

If the funeral is for a family member or a close friend, attending the funeral is an important way to pay your respects and honor the relationship you had with them. Even if the deceased is someone you didn’t know terribly well – a former teacher, a member of your community, or a friend you lost touch with – it is still acceptable to attend the funeral, unless the family specifies that the event will be private or invitation-only. Typically, this information will be listed in an obituary or other public notice. 

When You Shouldn’t Go to the Funeral

If the funeral isn’t open to all and you haven’t received an invitation, it’s not appropriate for you to attend. If you’re estranged from the deceased and your presence might cause distress to their family, the funeral may not be the best time to try to reconnect. 

If the funeral is out of town or you’re unable to attend due to work obligations, health problems, or previously booked travel, it’s fine to miss the funeral of someone you don’t know well. If you received an invitation or it otherwise appears that your attendance was expected, it's courteous to send a handwritten note to the family apologizing and briefly explaining why it’s not possible for you to be there.

Whether it’s unsuitable or impossible for you to be at the service, it’s often acceptable to send flowers, a sympathy card, or make a charitable donation in the name of the deceased instead. That way, you’ll still be able to pay your respects and offer condolences to the bereaved. 

If you have a loved one who recently passed and are in the process of arranging funeral services, turn to the compassionate staff at Adzima Funeral Home in Fairfield County, CT. Since 1914, the family-run funeral home has offered round-the-clock on-call support for those in mourning. From pre-planning arrangements to obituary writing, they’ll help you plan a memorable tribute to your loved one. Call (203) 375-2200 or visit their website to learn more about their funeral options.