Starting the discussion with your spouse or partner about relationship troubles can be challenging. And if you’re considering couples counseling, you may not know how to get the dialogue going. Simply considering the idea is a great first step, and if you’re concerned about introducing it to your significant other, you can use the tips below to help. They’ll ensure you remain respectful and take a positive approach to the situation.

3 Steps to Get Your Spouse to Consider Couples Counseling

1. Talk on Their Time

You don’t want your loved one to feel like you’re ambushing them, so introduce the idea at a time when it’s mutually convenient. Never start the dialogue during an argument, and don’t ask them to change existing plans, such as an afternoon with friends. The evenings when you’re winding down are a good start. Also, choose a comfortable setting where they feel safe.

2. Don’t Point Fingers

When you do talk, avoid assigning blame. Stick with “I” statements that allow you to express an honest feeling and why you think couples counseling will be helpful. If they feel attacked, things could quickly escalate. Ask them to listen while you make your point, and then give them plenty of time to speak where you don’t interrupt them. Simply making the decision to go to couples counseling is a challenge in itself and something you can both use positive tools to make a mutual decision on.

3. Be Honest

No matter what, you need to be fully honest with your partner so they understand why you feel couples counseling is necessary. Again, avoid “You” statements that place blame on them. If there are specific issues in the relationship, don't hold back on talking about them. Express that despite the work you have both put in, you feel couples counseling is the best way to make further progress so you can both enjoy a more fulfilling relationship.

Couples counseling has been a solution for numerous marriages and relationships, and Laurie Burns LCSW-R CGP knows starting the discussion isn’t easy. For over 20 years, she’s helped residents of Rochester, NY and focuses on creating a personalized treatment plan for each patient. Aside from being a qualified relationship counselor, she can also help with anxiety and personal issues, so call (585) 734-6826 today to schedule a consultation. You can learn more about her services by visiting her website.