Even with time to settle one’s affairs, a terminal illness writes an extremely sensitive and vulnerable chapter in the lives of an individual’s loved ones. For dependent children who will be left behind, the difficulty is unique. It’s important to carefully prepare them for such an event as life-changing as their parent’s death. The following guide offers some advice for helping them in this way.

How to Help a Child When a Parent Is Terminally Ill

1. Be Honest & Simple

It may be tempting to sugarcoat the conversation about a parent’s terminal illness or put it off as long as possible. However, doing so may make the child feel more distressed and even betrayed once they learn the truth. It also robs them of the time they need to prepare and could make them feel like they’re not allowed to discuss it simply because you were reluctant to do so. 

Instead, try to find time for a gentle, honest conversation without interruption in a quiet environment. Use simple words, and avoid using more medical terminology than necessary to explain why their parent is dying.

2. Set Expectations

Although a precise timeline may not be possible, the child may benefit from whatever sense of stability or routine they can get in a time like this. If their parent is receiving cancer treatments or end-of-life care, let the child know what that will be like. Explain that their parent will have new limitations and needs and how they will be accommodated.

3. Do Activities

Several activities can help a child cope with the prospect of losing a parent to a terminal illness. Consider working with them on creating a memory book or box with pictures, mementos, and letters from and to their parent. You can encourage them to express their feelings through art, poetry, or music.

4. Stay Available

It’s normal for a grieving person to go through various emotions that differ daily, and children are no exception. Try to be mindful of how they’re acting and feeling, especially if you suspect they’re suppressing their emotions. You can offer to talk and listen whenever they’d like, and when possible, set aside time to focus specifically on them and what they need or want to do.

5. Get Help

It’s understandable if your child needs help with their grief beyond what you can provide. If they become unusually and regularly withdrawn, agitated, doubtful of their personal worth, or unable to care about the relationships, activities, or responsibilities that they used to care about, they may need professional help. If this is the case, you shouldn't hesitate to take them to a psychologist or therapist.

Help your child find the compassion and sensitivity they need to deal with a parent’s terminal illness by working with Deer Valley Hospice Care. Located in Berkeley, MO, they specialize in providing personalized palliative and hospice care for various conditions and illnesses so that families can grieve productively and peacefully. Visit the website to learn more about their services, or call (314) 396-2211 to schedule a consultation.