People cope with grief in different ways. Some may approach it pragmatically, while others may be more emotional. There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to coping with such intense feelings, but it’s helpful to understand how grief manifests over time. Referred to as the five stages, this model breaks down the feelings one might experience as they cope with loss. They can occur at any time, such as when you’re planning the funeral or even after years have passed. Here is what you should know.

5 Stages of Grief

1. Denial

It’s natural to feel numb when someone passes away. The shock can cause you to feel confused, forget everything from the mundane to the important, and become distracted easily. You may do your best to stay preoccupied in an effort to avoid confronting the reality of the loss. While it’s common to experience denial in the early stages of loss, you may feel this way for quite some time.

2. Anger

You may also feel angry after losing someone you love, particularly if the person passed away unexpectedly or at a young age. You may be angry that your plans for the future can’t become a reality. It’s even normal to feel angry at the person who passed away. You may feel pessimistic, irritable, and frustrated, and it may be difficult to control your behaviors and emotions. This can leave some people more vulnerable to engaging in risky activities, like alcohol use. 

3. Bargaining

The bargaining stage is essentially a defense mechanism to help you better deal with your pain. You might try to negotiate with yourself, or with a spiritual figure if you are religious, hoping that if you behave in a certain way you may begin to feel better. Bargaining can also cause you to ask yourself “what if” questions and ruminate over things that happened in the past and wish you could change.

4. Depression

Depression can come at any time. It may strike while you’re planning the funeral, weeks after your loss, or even years after your loss. You may notice that you’re less energetic, lack motivation, feel increasingly sad and hopeless, and are generally overwhelmed. Life can feel empty and meaningless, and these emotions can be sharp and intense. It’s very important to seek the guidance of a therapist if you feel this way. They can help you develop tools to cope. 

5. Acceptance  

Eventually, you may reach a point where you can recognize and accept the loss of your loved one. You will never fully get over it, but you can come to terms with the reality of the situation and find ways to move forward in your life. You are more present, feel courageous, and are more mindful of how you behave and communicate with others.

During times of grief, let the caring and compassionate professionals at Shirley Brothers Mortuaries & Crematory in Indianapolis, IN, help you. They’ll assist you during every stage of this journey, from planning the funeral to making arrangements for a burial or cremation. Visit the website to learn more about how they can help you, or call (317) 897-9606 to speak with a representative.